My best friend from kindergarten in New Jersey found me on Facebook last night. I moved away from New Jersey when I was 11, and we would occasionally write, even less occasionally call. Once when I went back for a cousin's wedding (1992) I saw her. I don't know that I have talked to her since then, 17 years ago.

[I love Facebook. Twitter and Facebook are probably the main reason I no longer post here 5x a day - it's just so much easier when you're limited to 140 characters or less. And anyone who has read this for any period of time knows how neurotic I am about getting it perfectly right...the writing, the editing, the rewriting. Not today though. This morning I have no time. No time is another reason.]

I was tickled to see the friend request from her last night. Most of my good memories from those years involve her. We spent a couple hours catching up over email - only to find out at the end of the night that a message board I frequent, one with a very specific topic that only a small percentage of people in the world would read - well she is on there too. I go and look up her user name - and yup, I know it. I now recognize her face in the icon. I never put that face to the name to that time period in my life.

One final week of summer vacation. As with each summer, it flew by too quickly, helped along by multiple trips away from the house and across the US - a long drive to Louisiana, slow drive along the Gulf Coast, short cruise in the Gulf, and then a long trip to Northern Calilfornia and San Francisco. It was a great summer.

Pictures!

Shea at Fisherman's Wharf:


Will & Erin in New Orleans:


Liam in a hallway in a house in San Francisco - he doesn't like his picture being taken so this was the best I have:


On the cruise ship, Shea & cousin John - currently at the Citadel with a full scholarship. I consider him my 4th child although I had no part of his success:
.


I have been accused of going on too many vacations. This summer I would agree.

Trying to decide what to do this week - I had the most wonderful day yesterday buying school supplies (wow do I love Staples and office supplies). Thinking this might be a good week to spend lounging at the pool.

Edit: had to add one more image. This is good eating and how we do it in south central L.A. - that would be Louisiana for you city-folk:



Signed, the displaced yankee from New Jersey

An extended break is often made longer, quite inadvertently, by the feeling that someone (lets just say, ME) has to post something pretty spectacular for a come back.  I'd rather be 1990's John Travolta than say, Chevy Chase.

And so one month becomes two months which becomes first quarter, and before you know it five months have passed and still nothing spectacular comes to mind.  When the reality is that it's probably pretty self-indulgent of me to think anyone gives a flying biscuit but still.  I fretted over what to post.  One-liners on Facebook and Twitter take up a lot of creative writing time, you know.

So - last 4.5 months:
Erin finished kindergarten.  Struggled with reading until one day it clicked and she is now reading all Level 2 books with ease.  I suspect at this rate she will be working on Proust by the end of the summer. 
Liam - Tales of a Fourth Grader Terror.  Is completely obsessed with weapons and Deadliest Warrior.  He can watch any John Woo film and point out the pros and cons of various weapons portrayed.  Have promised him that when the zombies attack, he CAN use a flame thrower, but not before.
Shea - turned 15 yesterday.  You blink and your children grow up.  Beautiful and sweet.

I always become somewhat of a hermit during the winter; this year winter extended throughout spring and into summer.  I have also (mostly) stopped socializing with the majority of my friends over the past year.  In addition, I've been working on a big project that I am not prepared to talk about here. Oh - that's a bit of a teaser isn't it?  It's not that I'm hiding it from people, just that I'm not going to place it out there for the whole world to see in case it fails.   Just an explanation for my blog and friend-neglect.  Ask me again in say...9 months and I'll tell you.

HA!  No, I am not pregnant.  Or trying to become pregnant.  Nope, no way, uh uh, or as my Russian nephew used to say, NYET!  I love babies - but 1. I have enough children and 2. it's now physically impossible for me to become pregnant, even with medical intervention.  That part of my life is done.  By the way - if you are post childbearing ,but premenopausal...I would love to tell you about uterine ablation.  Ask me how it can work for you!  Best thing I ever did.  Unlike the bladder sling which took two subsequent surgeries to fix. 

Hmm...start with biscuits, end with my nether regions.  That sounds about normal for me.  Take care and I'll be back when I make it back.  Could be tomorrow, could be August.

8:50am on a Sunday morning.  I'm sleepy from staying up too late - not by choice, just happened.  Finally took an Advil PM at 3am I think.  Will was also awake, from a toothache.  Poor guy has had more issues with his teeth lately.  He needs a root canal.

I'm awake because we are going to my niece's baptism in a few hours, at a church that's an hour away.  I'm not really down on churches and religion - got my share of that at parochial school in New Jersey - but this is a family event.  However, with the exception of Shea who occasionally goes to Youth Programs at the Mega-Church around the program, my kids aren't familiar with church, much less a full mass.  Hyperactive Liam and Kindergarten Erin are going to have a hard time staying still for the 75-minute service. 

Wonder if God and/or priests frown on hand-held video game consoles? 

Wanderlust has been killing me lately - I need to go on a road trip.  So far I've booked trips to Mexico (cruise), New Orleans and San Francisco.  Doesn't help me right now though.   Someone needs to invite me over.

8:58am.  Gotta go.  Will's a'hollerin.

Ok, so I get that it's only January 12th, but I have been working really hard on my resolutions for the last 11 days.

1. One load of laundry a day
2. Learn Spanish
3. Go to gym 3x a week
4. Lose 15 pounds
5. Family trip somewhere fun and educational (i.e. no spring break to the beach)

1.  One load of laundry a day.  Check!  With the exception of Sunday, as the day I have given myself as a day of rest.  Figure God can do it, so can I.  Laundry is completely caught up.  Problem is that I'm putting the same clothes on top in the drawers.  Need to figure out a rotation - FIFO vs. LIFO

2. Learn Spanish.  Still need to figure out how to install the software on my computer -  have all the software now, but it's XP only.  I have a Vista machine with XP running in VMWare but it won't install. Tendré éxito!

3. Go to gym 3x a week. Doctor gave me clearance for running in 3 more weeks.  Actual exercising still 6 weeks away. Going to start walking on treadmill this week.

4. Lose 15 pounds.  Working on it!  With the exception of all that bar food and Irish Car Bombs Friday night, I have done very well.  And as I have now sworn off Irish Car Bombs for ALL ETERNITY, it should go easier from here.

5. Family trip.  I spent most free minutes over the last 10 days looking at places to go.  Finally booked a 10 day trip to New Orleans and a cruise to Cozumel later this year.  Mayan ruins are educational aren't they?  As is snorkeling and dancing on the Lido deck.


Things to look forward to this week:  Battlestar Galactica Friday night. 
Things to look forward to this month:  new Underworld movie.  Please don't let it suck.

1. Where is your cell phone? close
2. Your significant other? upstairs
3. Your hair? black
4. Your mother? smart
5. Your father? badass
6. Your favorite thing? iphone
7. Your dream last night? Italian
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? organization
10. The room you're in? kitchen
11. Your fear? death
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
13. Where were you last night? bed
14. What you are not? energetic
15. Muffins? auxillary
16. One of your wish list items? office
17. Where you grew up? south
18. The last thing you did? coffee
19. Your TV? no
20. Your pets? three
21. Your computer? precious
22. Your life? busy
23. Your mood? here
24. Missing someone? no
25. Your car? messy
26. Something you're not wearing? bra
27. Favorite Store? Fry's
28. Your summer? lovely
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? evening
31. Last time you cried? while
32. Who will/would repost? dunno

I woke up very early New Years Day (which was really about 3 hours after I went to bed).  My dad always told me to spend New Year's Day in the manner in which you hope to spend the rest of the year.  Which means I will probably wake up still tipsy from many bottles of champagne every day for the next year.  And spend the afternoons of 2009 sitting around a firepit drinking more while my children are busy playing the violent video games they received for Christmas.  That afternoon, my neighbors brought over the traditional black-eyed peas, which I could tell were outstanding, but unfortunately I can't eat.  Some people can eat beans while merely singing:

"Beans, beans a wonderful fruit,
the more you eat, the more you toot!"

But not me.  Severe gastrointestinal distress.  For days. 

Good Lord, how did I start off this entry with, "I woke up very early" and within one paragraph start talking about my bowels?

This is me keeping it real.

2009 will be full of hangovers, wood smoke and bad luck while Liam will become a world-class xbox mercenary.

Anyway, back to waking up tipsy at 7am.  The house was still and silent, filled with people who realize that New Year's Day at my house is not a day where you should get up so early.  I was in an introspective mood.  I looked at all the things I had hoped to accomplish over the years, and bolstered by the gallon of champagne still in my belly, decided that this was the year to do so, making the following resolutions:

1. One load of laundry a day
2. Learn Spanish
3. Go to gym 3x a week
4. Lose 15 pounds
5. Family trip somewhere fun and educational (i.e. no spring break to the beach)

The fact that I have never successfully completed one New Year's Resolution in the past had no effect on my list making that morning.  I did think that not putting completely unrealistic items on the list such as: "Pick up house each night before bed' was smart.  Cause really - I do know what I can and can't do.

1. Laundry
Easy enough and quite vital to my sanity.  As of today, January 3rd, there is less then one load of laundry to wash.  Rare situation in my house.

2. Spanish
I took the Rosetta Stone Spanish software that Will bought my two Christmases ago and attempted to install it this morning.  The computer would not read the installation disk and the language disk was missing from the box anyway.  This might be a bit harder to accomplish.

3.  Go to gym 3x a week
I don't know when I will get the OK from the doctor to start exercising/running again - probably 8 to 10 weeks - but I can walk on the treadmill (or even neighborhood) immediately. 

4.  Lose 15 pounds
Do I really need to cook with all that butter?  Well yes, which is why #3 is on the list.

5.  Family trip
I don't really like going to the beach on vacation.  I mean, I do, the beach is beautiful, but it always feels very lazy to me.  I like to DO things on my vacation.  I can sit on my ass and look at something beautiful at home.  Now, we are limited by the school calendar so mainly looking at Spring Break & Summer trips.  Yesterday I looked at the following locations:
A.  Grand Canyon
B.  Disney Cruise & Park  (not much available for Spring Break and not exactly educational)
C.  Atlantis in Bahamas (the first quote I got was $62,000)
D. Great Wolf Lodge in Virginia & Washington DC
Also planning a trip to Louisiana (New Orleans) this spring and San Francisco this summer.  Maybe Europe but not likely.  Also on the list is Montreal and New York. 

I hate planning trips.

You'll note that nowhere on that list was, "Update LJ every day."  I'll try to do better, but again, even with a case of champage I know my limits.

Will is currently taking down the Christmas decorations while murmuring, "Sure would be nice to have some help" and "Sooner we get this done the sooner we can do XYZ." 

New Years Eve montage, from Dot @ www.dabbled.org/



Gots to go.  Byebye chick-a-dees.  Happy New Year.







 

It turns out that I'm really NOT that efficient.  I can either work (not even FULL-TIME, more like three-quarter time) and maintain the house, or maintain the house and write this blog.  Can't seem to do all three.  Can't even do two half the time.  I have NO time today but I have got to update this thing before the end of the year.

Synopsis of the last 6 weeks, in no order:
1. My 15th wedding anniversary.  We had fondue.  It was fun and I drank too much wine and fell asleep at 10pm.  Sorry dear.

2. Thanksgiving at my sister's on that Thursday, birthday dinner for my dad on that Friday, and retirement party for my mom on that Saturday.  Yes, I have gained as much weight as you would expect.  Dad's Irish so I prepared Corned Beef and Shepherds Pie.  As women in my family could moonlight as professional chefs, and I'm not much more then a short-order cook here, I prepared 4 different recipes of Shepherd's Pie and served to various friends and neighbors prior to the birthday celebration for their opinions.  Never was satisfied with the final dish but it was good.

3. Lots of holiday parties. Took the girls to the Nutcracker one night and Will & I to The Santaland Diaries the following night.  Both were great.

4. Christmas Day at my mother in laws.  Very nice, especially as it was at her house and not my own. And she always has a lot of wine.

5.  Sleep.  After many months of falling asleep between 7 and 8pm, I am now able to stay up past 10!   Not sure whether it was the surgery or the iron that fixed it (probably both) but I will continue taking all that iron every 6 hour when my phone beeps to remind me.

6.  Surgery.  Have to have another one, tomorrow actually (Tuesday) to fix a complication from the September surgery.  This one is outpatient but does require that I am completely knocked out.  I'm hoping that I recover quickly because...

7.  New Years Eve party at my house Wednesday night.  The people that have told me that I am an idiot for throwing a party one day after surgery don't really know me very well do they.  However I am very glad that I way toned down last years party because expectations are now much lower.  No balloon drop, multiple bars, etc.  Instead just an informal gathering of friends with a keg and party hats. Today I am shopping and prepping the house (as I will be unable to do anything tomorrow or the next day).  If you read this, you are welcome to come over.  I did not send out formal invitations to anyone.

8.  Work.  Very good.  I was given an IPhone which is so attached to me it follows me around the house (generally clutched in my hand).  My laptop misses me.

9.  Kids - fine.  Will - fine.  Dogs - one is fine, other is not so good.  Either Mackie has suddenly gotten old (large dog that is 9 1/2) or something is going on with him.  Taking him to the vet this week but I'm scared of what I'm going to hear.

Gotta get back to work.  Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.  How the hell is it 2009?

xxoo
 

We have taken a breather on home improvement projects for the moment.  Still a few things we need to get done (painting, replace carpets) in addition to the gutters and finishing that bathroom.  Our normal Modus Operandi is to visualize the finished project, estimate the cost, start it, watch the budget skyrocket, take a 6 month break in the middle of the project, complete it to 90%, and then announce that we are done!

I had hardwood floors installed in most of the house years ago, but there are still a few bedrooms that have carpet.  The carpet is circa 1992.  And gross.  However I have a hard time replacing this faded, stained worn carpet with the knowledge that three animals and three children still like to vomit, spill, paint and claw at our current ones.

Coming up, we're going to a murder mystery party, which requires another costume, the third in three months. The first was Will's surprise birthday toga party in September.  Oh - did I not mention it?  I could write up an entire post about it, but I think this picture does it justice:



The next costume was Halloween - we actually had two Halloween parties, but we wore the same costumes to both:



Will is Van Helsing, and I'm just an unnamed assistant vampire slayer.  I'm not big into costumes and put this one together in 15 minutes based on what I had in my closet.  You can't see - but I am wearing a homemade corset.  Because corsets are hot.  Until your 14 year old daughter puts it on and then it's not AT ALL.

Will is really into costumes and made his crossbow out of a rapid fire nerf gun.  Which was problematic when someone he didn't even know showed up to the party as a vampire and he announced he must stay in character and slay the beast.  And those aluminum spikes on the bandolier on his chest?  Custom made for the costume.

While I am not into preparing the costumes, I do take my role very seriously:



Collage of Halloween party photos put together by dotdorsner 




For the upcoming murder mystery party I will be playing the part of the very spoiled younger sister of a 1920's gangster.  I've got the spoiled part down already.

The gutters on the back of our house are rusting.  The house is about 18 years old and everything is demanding to be replaced these days which I can't ignore.   I can ignore my children's demands only because they aren't dropping pieces of ceiling on my head.  If they learn that trick they would all have sports cars by the time they turn 16.

Despite the huge No Soliciting sign at the front of the neighborhood, we get plenty of door to door salesmen.  Normally I'm the one smiling politely and slamming the door in their face - I have no problem telling someone to leave - but Will is a bit nicer.  He answered the doorbell to a gutter salesman and before I even had the chance to come downstairs and slam the door we had an appointment for 5pm the following night.  Halloween night.  When I gave Will the look, he pointed out that it was actually a well known local business, Dixie HomeCrafters, not Bob the Gutter installer, and well - we do need new gutters.  It's been way up on the list for a few months now.  He said he figured he saved me a phone call. 

Will and I learned early in our marriage that it's best to leave the cost of major purchases to me after he sided with a car salesman once and started to upsell the vehicle.  He believes that there is good in some salesmen whereas I assume every one of them is out to screw me and without buying dinner first.  However Will normally understands what the salesmen is selling, whereas I am easily confused.  Will deals with the technical side where I deal with the cost negotiation.  I've said many times that we work well together.

We were assured the entire sales presentation and estimate would only take an hour.  When Jeff the salesman shows up I told him that this was a bad night - Halloween - and was again assured it would only take an hour and he would be leaving before 6pm.  I stay in the kitchen most of the time, making dinner, working on last minute costume alterations, while he and Will first walk around the house and then sit at the kitchen table.   The salesman has pulled out all the tricks, complimenting the children, commenting on the smell of the dinner I'm cooking, "Cincinnati Chili!  Wow that smells outstanding - I'm just in time!  Oh - just kidding but it really does smell great."

As the chili is simmering, I sit at the kitchen table and ask questions, making the following comments:

Jeff the salesman, "So what do you think about this price after hearing about our product.  Good, right?"
Will the salesman's dream:  "Well ok sure"
Karen the cheap, "As a launching pad for negotiation, sure."

The price starts around $8,000.  I figure that means there is a lot of room for it to go down.  He begins throwing in extras - but only if we sign tonight.  Will and I tell him we never buy major purchases without researching, and we haven't even seen any other products yet.  He gives me a list of references - that I can only call tonight while he is sitting there.  The price drops to $7,000 - if we sign tonight.  We repeat - no major purchases without researching.  Price drops to $6,000 - he'll throw out his commission - but only if we buy tonight.  We tiredly repeat our spiel.  Price drops to $5,000.

(I think it's bullshit that prices on something so expensive are only good that day.)

At this point I have gone back to the stove, have called the kids in and made plates.  It is now 6:45pm - 45 minutes after he said he would definitely be gone.  Jeff the gutter salesmen comments again on the wonderful smell of the chili.  And then he offers the entire back half of the house replaced for free.  I'm annoyed.  Even Will is getting annoyed. I tell the salesman that I'm annoyed and frustrated that he has not listened to a thing we have said, that there is NO WAY we are signing anything tonight and he might as well leave.  He acts offended that we won't.



I think that is the point he got the hint, because he begins to pack up.  Will goes upstairs to help put costumes on the kids.  He walks into the kitchen where I am still making plates and leans over the chili.  "This really does smell great - would you mind if I tasted it?"

"Sure" I say and point to a clean spoon.

He picks up a spoon and says, "Where are the bowls?"

Startled, I point out the cabinet.  I think maybe he just wants to put a little in a bowl and taste it - not be messy.

Then he walks over to the pasta (served chili-mac style) and fills his bowl halfway with pasta.  Then fills the rest of the bowl with chili.  And adds cheese.  He walks over to the kitchen table and sits down.

I'm astonished but don't know what to say, not wanting to be rude.  He then gets up and gets SECONDS.   He finishes the second bowl - leaves the plate on the kitchen table and walks out the door.

I'm sending a bill to Dixie HomeCrafters for $15.  Two entrees.  But the price is only good today - tomorrow it goes up to $20.

We have been very slowly, glacier-like even, doing improvements to our house.  Generally our motivation is for personal use, but if the future sale value increases, then great.   However as any homeowner knows, the process builds upon itself.  Buying a hot tub means you need to build a deck to put it on.  Which also means shelving for the towels, and a toilet within close distance for quick nature calls while in the hot tub.  Not a good idea to have to run up two flights of stairs when you are soaking wet right?  But you just can't put in a toilet - you need a sink to wash up afterwards.  And a sink means a towel rack - gotta have a wall for that towel rack.  Putting in walls means you need a door, which leads to electricity.  And if you're doing all that, might as well finish out the floor and the ceiling.  Oh - and a shower/tub combo would be nice as well.

You see how Will saying, "I want a hot tub" turned into a $15,000 project?

Luckily we have very handy friends who are very generous with their time.  The deck was built by Will and a group of friends.  I helped by providing beer.  The hot tub was installed last winter and we enjoyed it for quite a few months until summer came.  Now that it's getting cooler outside, we're starting to use it again, and ready to work on phase 2 of the project - the basement bathroom.

I have stated before that Will is smart, but not handy.  Something like plumbing is not intuitive to him.  Our friend Chad is smart and handy. Not only am I not that smart, and not at all handy - I am extremely lazy. But I can serve beer.  They figured the two of them, with my help providing refreshments, would have no trouble figuring out how to build a bathroom even though neither of them had any experience in doing so.  They had books, they had the internet, they were MEN!  Building stuff was what MEN! do.  Buying expensive tools is important part of being a MAN!  Which is what they told me when I offered to get my dad here to help.

Every time I say something to Will about getting my dad to do something for him he yells at me and calls me Woman.  "My dad doesn't do it that way" and "Would you like my dad to fix that?"   

"Woman!  Leave me be.  I will do this."

Silly men. 

The Saturday they were going to build the bath came and they started bright and early.  I offered beer (I take my role seriously) and they said no thank you, not yet.  It was only 8am after all.   So I went about my day, cooking a hot lunch, bringing down sodas, fetching tools left upstairs.  Even once soldering a pipe.  I enjoyed that and can now tell people how I built the bathroom in the basement.

I go down to check on them as they are deep in a discussion of cutting into the main water main of the house.  The pipe comes into the concrete wall of the basement.  6" from the wall, there is a valve.  6" from that valve is another.  They decide to turn off both valves, and cut in between them.  Remember - smart men, just inexperienced.  They figured that turning off both valves and cutting between the valves would cover them.

The initial cut is made and water begins to trickle out of it.  Residual water in the pipes I am told.  I let them know I'll go upstairs to get a few towels to wipe up the drops on the floor.  Erin comes up both flights of stairs to the top level of the house with me.   On our return trip down I hear yelling, and then a loud noise.  A Hoover Dam breaking noise.  I leave Erin on the stairs and run down the rest of them to see the equivalent of a New York City Street fire hydrant pouring water into my basement.  Chad is there, first using his hand to stop the rush of water, and then trying to make a conduit with his hands between the broken water pipe.  Except the other valve is also turned off even if he could make a human pipe.  Will is standing there, trying desperately to think of how to stop water coming in at 80 psi. 

I walk in and begin to laugh.  Because I haven't yet realized that this might be a very bad thing.  They glare at me.

I offer my help.  "Why don't you just turn the water off at the street?"

"WE DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS!"

"I do."

"Woman!  Go turn it off!!"

So I run upstairs, skirting around 5 year old Erin who has just made it to the bottom of the stairs with her towels.  I run out the front door, barreling into teenage Shea and her best friend Jenna.  "MOVE!" I laugh and yell at them.

I get to the water valve in the front yard, tear off the cover....to see it filled with dirt and spider webs.  For half a second I wonder how much I love this house.  I could just get a new one.  Then I remember the housing issue going on, realize I'd have to re-buy whatever is not water damaged, and begin to dig.  Through the spider webs, and beetles and ants.  I come to the water meter and see the red marker inside the meter spinning quickly.  Yikes, that's going to be expensive.  There is no shut-off valve, just a metal post that needs to be turned, but hasn't been in at least eight years.  Erin comes outside and I ask her to go get some pliers from Daddy.  She goes back inside, stops off to see what is on Spongebob, gets a milkbox, and then heads downstairs to ask for the pliers.

At this time Will has decided I'm taking too long and runs by Erin.  He takes over, I go get the pliers, send them out to him and go down to the basement where there is now about 2" of water on the floor in this 400 sq foot room of the basement.  A completely drenched Chad yells at me to help pull a pipe - because he is trying to repair the cut as the water is still rushing out.  I stand on a chair, on my tiptoes, just barely touching the pipe in the ceiling.  And I am still laughing, again not comprehending that is could be a REALLY BAD thing.

Chad starts yelling at me.  "THIS IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!  THIS IS GOING TO FUCKING FLOOD YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING BASEMENT!  STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AND PULL THAT FUCKING PIPE!!"

I shut up, finally realizing the enormity of what could happen, while still impressed with the number of f-bombs just dropped.  I stop laughing and begin to seriously try to pull the pipe.  However, even though I am very tall, I'm not tall enough.  Only my fingertips can reach it.  All this time Chad has been taking the full brunt of the water and is wetter than if he had been dropped into a swimming pool.  I am 2' away and the entire right side of me is drenched.  The water suddenly stops and there is 30 seconds of silence as we look at each other and around the basement.   Will comes back downstairs, looks at me and we both break out into gales of laughter as Chad looks on horrified.  The two teenage girls stand in the corner not knowing which reaction is the one they should take.

At this point I finally go get the beer, and over the next hour we get a couple shop vacs and clean up all the water.  Nothing is damaged and the pool table and carpet are cleaner than they have ever been.  One of the teenagers thanks us for giving her an entertaining Saturday.  And for the next 12 hours Will and I look at each other and start giggling.

Like most women, I am selectively forgetful. Not only do I forget the pain of childbirth, but I forget the trauma of 40-stitches and blood transfusion, remembering only holding the infant for the first time. I forget that Will mows the lawn every week but remember that his coffee cup never makes it to the dishwasher. And I forget that both Erin and I love to be outside but have a completely unreasonable fear of spiders.

I would really love to be one of those people who can pick a bug off their shoulder and put it somewhere else - say Arkansas. But I'm not. I'm 40 years old, and I have never enjoyed arachnids crawling up my leg. I just don't think I'm going to start now. It's not mind over matter - it's a strong dislike that occasionally moves over into panic mode.

However - I love being outdoors. I love hiking, I love exploring a completely remote area. I love sitting around a campfire at 9pm, and even more so at 9am, drinking a cup of coffee just brewed over that fire which is burning from branches and logs you have collected. I love listening to my 5 year old tell me with excitement how she came out of the tent and saw a deer run by her. I love cold air on my face and the sound of the wind going through the trees. I love Mother Nature - and I do realize I have to tolerate the creepy crawly side of Mother Nature. I really really do get that.

This past weekend we went camping with our large group of friends (description of our campsite is below).  Camping is always my idea, I whine and press and beg, with usually one or two others agreeing with me, and the rest tolerating the idea.  I like to think they go because they love me and not because the rest of the year I find interesting events for us, and rent cabins in the mountains.  Because of the large group we had, I choose a very primitive campsite - no electricity and an outhouse.  October in Georgia is perfect camping weather - the high of the day was 80F, the low at night around 55F.   Rain was forecasted at a 20% chance (which was dead accurate  in a bit of an unusual way.  One out of every five hours - it drizzled.).

We have only been camping a few years, normally once a year, and I think I have handled the creepy crawlies pretty well.  For this trip, what I am really really hoping is that my selective memory kicks in, and I remember the beautiful crisp cold air and forget the outhouse - and the daddy long legs.

Now - I think most Arachnophobics will agree that daddy long legs are some of the more innocuous spiders (technically, arachnid, not a spider, but 8 legs = spider to me).  Even I can see one walk by me, and ignore it.  However, when I booked our campsite, I was not informed that we would be sharing it with a daddy long leg convention.  There wasn't the occasional daddy long leg - there were hundreds of them.  Packing up our tent took an extra 20 minutes just to remove about 30 (not an exaggeration) daddy long legs from the netting.  I felt as if I were in a bug-horror movie.  One or two bugs - and we had two of those big wolf spiders, two scorpions, and woah lots of ants. I can handle that.  Waking up in the morning, rolling over and looking at the top of the tent to find 30 spiders?   That took a lot out of me. 

I am grown-up, mature, and generally reasonable most of the time.  When I see a spider crawling on me I jump, wipe it off and swear a bit.  I saw around the fire with a blanket over my legs - and shook the blanket every few minutes to keep it bug free.  Five year-old Erin has inherited my dislike of spiders without hitting my level of  bug enlightenment.   Her way of handling with a bug is to scream, cry, and hyperventilate for 20 minutes.   And this includes bugs not crawling on her, but just on the ground.  To help combat this, I requested everyone not to mention the bugs by name, but to call them acorns.  "There are 3 acorns on your blanket" and "There's an acorn crawling up your neck by the way." 

We are now home, and showered.  Laundry is in process and the car is emptied out.  The woodfire smell will be there for a while.  I think we've learned that 5 pillows, 4 air mattresses and 5 sleeping bags take up way too much space and will figure out an alternative next year.  Camping 10 days after surgery wasn't the best timing, as I had some complications pop up last week, but it did get me out of unloading the car and hauling wood around.  
 
Dot from Dabbled wrote up helpful camping tips from our trip, along with a review of the campsite.  And yes - I did go listmaking crazy the week before, setting up a google doc and assigning tasks to the 6 families that went (we had 17 in all).

From Dabbled:
For this trip, we had a big group - 17 people including 5 kids from 3 to 14. For budget reasons, as well as for privacy with this size group, we rented a 'pioneer' campsite at FD Roosevelt State park, about 1 1/2 hrs from Atlanta. This was an incredibly budget friendly option, as the entire campsite, with plenty of room for all of us, cost only $30 total! They also have regular campsites, which would have been a little less 'roughing it'. The state park has hiking, a lake, and a pool, and is located near a good number of family friendly attractions, including Calloway Gardens, FDR's 'Little Whitehouse', horseback riding, an Animal Safari, and more.

The Pioneer campsite was great for our large group. We had 5 tents, a wooden shelter, plenty of room, and nobody else around. Drive up, no hiking into the woods, but you still felt like your were in the middle of nowhere. Disadvantages were that there was running water up the hill, but no shower/bathroom facilities or electricity nearby. Yes, my friends, we had an outhouse. But really, except for when we figured out a car electricity adapter won't run a coffee pot (oh no, should have brought the french press!), the lack of amenities was doable for a short weekend trip. As I mentioned, they also have regular 'car camping' campsites that have more modern amenities, if you're not into roughing it QUITE so much.

Today is the first day I have felt clear-headed and myself this week.  Monday morning I checked myself into the hospital for basically a tune-up surgery.  Three pregnancies, one very traumatic delivery, and unusual hormonal changes had done a number on my chassis.  I decided to go ahead and get things fixed - while someone told me that it was unnecessary surgery (definition being it wasn't a matter of life and death) there was what I considered a serious quality of life issue and potential nasty complications coming from ignoring the problems for too long.  Two and a half hours under general anesthesia, one night in the hospital, a $500 deductible and I am as good as new.   Better actually as I will never have another monthly period again.  TMI?  No way - I'm shouting that one from the roottops. 

Generally the entire event was with minimal pain.  Coming out of general anesthesia involved a lot of pain - I remember the nurse telling me it took 2 shots of demerol and 2 shots of dilaudud to get the pain down to a level 5 - but I barely remember most of that.   Once I was in my room, I was hooked up to a pain pump that administered demerol whenever I pushed a button.  But something was wrong with my IV, because whenever I pushed the button, the hand that had the IV felt as if it had been hit with a hammer multiple times.  I finally had the pain pump removed and switched to pills.  The only other annoyance was my blood pressure which spent 20 hours hovering around 80/40.  No wonder I'm so ditzy most of the time - nothing to do with my blond hair.  Once it got up to 100/50 I got to go home.

The last four days I have been in a complete fog, feeling too good to sit in bed all day, but not good enough to get out of it and actually do anything.  I also seem to be very sensitive to hydrocodone as one pill will find me wandering around the bedroom insisting to Will that I have something very very important I need to do - but no idea what it is.  Will is by far too good a person - he was not willing to take advantage of my stoned state and have some fun with it.  He should be warned that if the situation if ever reversed I will have the video camera and a list of questions ready.

I spent last week preparing a lot of food and putting it in the freezer so that Will wouldn't have to worry about ordering pizza for us every night.  One neighbor brought over food last night and another is bringing over Chinese takeout tonight.  I also sent Will on a Dunkin Donuts run yesterday afternoon.  Friends are bringing food over Friday night.  Some people lose weight after having surgery - I'm quite sure I will gain 10 pounds.

Although I haven't written an entry since the September 18th, the surgery is not the only thing that has been going on since then.  A surprise birthday party and a home-improvement near disaster was also part of our days.  But I am not clear-headed enough to do them justice. Maybe later.

Happy Birthday Will.  Welcome to your 40's.   It sucks.  Here is some Ben-Gay and Geritol.

I liked having a younger husband.

We're having some friends over tonight for beer & wings - nothing much really.  We might do something Saturday night if I can muster up the energy.   Since he threw such a big party for me on my 40th birthday, I felt a little odd throwing one for him when hardly anyone else around us ever ever ever throws birthday parties.  Plus he kept saying he didn't want to deal with the hassle of a party.  So much for that.  I'm the wild party girl but he's more of a sit and talk on the back deck kind of guy.  So that's what he's getting tonight.

...

Last weekend - and the occasional spare evening hour this week - Will and our neighbor Chad have been slowly building a bathroom in the basement.  Neither of them had much knowledge on how to build a bathroom but both are very smart and Chad is a mechanical engineer who builds things like eviscerators for work.  Bathroom.  Eviscerator.  Both deal with bowels.  So they tackled the project.  Once it's finished (sometime in 2009 we think) I'll post pictures, and maybe tell some of the causes for the "OH SHIT!" I kept hearing.  Turns out we have EXCELLENT water pressure in the house and that while soldering is fun, using a gun with bullets in it to get the nails in concrete satisfied many needs of those two men. 

As of right now there are 3 framed walls, all the plumbing, flooring and yes....a toilet.  I made Will make me a makeshift toilet paper roll holder and I guess I'll stick a jar of hand sanitizer down there until the sink gets put in.  Right now our project plan includes hanging some sheets for privacy.  Then install the sink and shower.  Frame out the fourth wall, add a door.  Remove sheets, drywall and a ceiling?   Oh - and a real toilet paper holder.  Maybe 2010.

Will is going to be very pleased to know that I have LET IT GO.  What so annoyed me yesterday is now nothing more than an anectdote that I will share with the other crowd*.  Those people who don't know Bobby and the...oh I'm not continuing with that line again.  Too much hassle.  I'm over it.

But man - do I wish I could tell you about it.   I'm quite sure the person in question does not read this, but I just can't take a chance.  World of shit, that's what it would cause.  Might be worth it though.

OK, maybe I've only partly let it go.

My neighbors Chawn** came over last night.  Will is out of town, I was feeling a bit moody, a bit lonely.  They came over and we talked about the toilet that is being installed in the basement this weekend.  Which means we had to install flooring.  And you can't install a toilet without a sink - have to wash your hands.  And where is the towel rack going to go?  On the wall.  Have to stud the walls.  Then drywall.  But wait - if we're doing ALL THAT, wouldn't it make sense to install a shower as well? 

I went from moody and lonely to overwhelmed in about 3 minutes.  In the end, I decided on a half-bath only.  The configuration is such that to fit all three, I'm looking at a basement bathroom that's about 100 sq. feet.  Which is pretty frigging large for a basement bathroom.  My basement really isn't that big to support that.

So this morning I am going to the gym, and then to Home Depot to pick out and buy the flooring.  And this weekend you'll hear a lot of swearing coming from my house.

PS. I just got a txt message from Will saying, "Let it go."  I responded with, "You are so predictable."


* Other crowd..  It's useful to keep friends separate so you can talk about one group to the other without feeling guilty.
**Chawn.  Chad & Dawn.  I make nicknames for a lot of my friends. 

Again, this is one of those days I wish this were an anonymous blog instead of one where I'm pretty sure it's read by everybody on my street, my mother, my boss, the mailman and Janet_Evanovich*.  Because if this were an anonymous blog, I would go off on a long-winded, yet brilliant, rant about my neighbor Bobby and how he let his dog run loose, taking dumps all over my yard. And then how he sent me a bill to have it cleaned up.  And you would be offended for me - because you don't have a vested interest in Bobby, the dog, or my lawn care.  You only know as much as I tell you, and would not know Bobby, the dog or the shit personally.

Because that's how I feel right now.   Except I don't have a neighbor Bobby, who doesn't have a dog, and no one has really taken a shit in my yard that doesn't already live in this house.  But we could very well substitute Bobby, the dog, and the feces for other more accurate words and phrases.  Then you would know how I'm feeling right now - and you would still be very offended for me, while telling Bobby what I said.  Because there is a chance you know Bobby, or are related to the dog, or thought it was a particularly clever type of dog shit I'm not going to say anything else.

I'm pretty sure I'm not making any sense at all.   Will, who does know all about a boy, his dog and the excrement, is going to read this and call me a big drama queen, and tell me that I need to LET IT GO. 

And I will respond that I have never been able to let something go IN MY LIFE and isn't he glad that I'm talking about dogshit here on a blog instead of sitting next to him?  Because I can talk about dogshit for DAYS.


*Janet Evanovich.  Successful writer and good friend of my uncle. Doesn't know I exist although having a last name that begins with F, I always follow her alphabetically in the mass emails when he sends them. And since I am a hopeless name dropper with absolutely no celebrity connections I have to do what I can with what I've got.

I have a fantasy that she reads this blog (although hopefully not this entry) and contacts me to tell me her agent will be calling and has a contract worth $20 million, no $30 million, for me to sign.   This is the fantasy world where I live.  Nice place most of the time actually.

When I post a lot of pictures here, it's because I'm too lazy to find the words to describe something, and figure that the picture can do it for me faster, better, and much more accurately.  This leaves me time to do more important things, such as finish the internet.  If I don't maintain a certain daily reading level, I could fall behind.

However, sometimes there are pictures that just really don't explain what is going on.

Friday night was BunkoBoat. The neighborhood drunkos all pile into gte222s houseboat and do everything other than play bunko.  We play poker (with peanut M&M's - problematic with the 2am munchies).  We swim across the lake to an island.  We dance (sometimes with a pole) and this year we sang Karaoke - or as I dubbed it, Karenoke! 

Karenoke, cause that's my name.  Karen.  So "Karen-oke."  Get it?  Funny right? No?  Yeah just forget it.   I thought it was extremely clever at the time.

That's Ronna in the middle.  She's currently my boss.  I like her.  On the right is Vicky.  I like her too.  She's not my boss, just bossy.  Which is why I like her.  I need to be told what to do.  Such as stop singing folk songs from the 70's.

That would be me on the left with the microphone in my hand singing something.  I dunno, Beyonce, or California Dreamin', or All That Jazz - although probably not All That Jazz because I'm pretty sure I danced it while singing it.   I like to pretend I'm on Broadway when singing showtunes.  What I lack in talent and taste I make up for with enthusiasm.  People had to pry that mic from my hands to get a turn.  Or sometimes they just pried it from my hands to turn the volume off before giving it back to me.  So maybe I'm a bit tone deaf.  Doesn't bother me none.

Linda has much better pictures here ----> Another Good Thing


However, before you go to her website, I'll go ahead and preempt what you are going to see.  Because I am anything but proud, and I feel that my loyal audience, after sticking around with me for nearly 5 years on this blog ought to see the REAL me, naked with cellulite and warts.  No - I am NOT showing you a picture of me naked with cellulite and warts.  I was just figuratively speaking. The picture Linda has posted there is actually worse.   Because while there maybe someone who wants to see me naked (even with the cellulite, bandaids can cover up the warts) even those who love me don't want to see this picture.

So here it is!  Behold the picture of maturity!



I think I was channeling a Sesame Street monster.

Not only did I pose for this picture...it was my idea.  I would blame Captain Morgan*, but over the years there have been many pictures of me in similar poses.  I'll have to find them later.

*Captain Morgan seemed fitting considering we were on a boat.

Failed my iron test.  Again. 

Crap.  I really felt prepared for this one.  I'm able to stay up past 8pm now.  Have eaten more beef cooked in cast iron than the meatpackers union would recommend.  Take my supplements (ok ok - when I remember.  Which isn't daily but enough I think).

Anyway - have to triple my iron supplements (what is that going to do to my gut) and get tested, again, for internal bleeding. 

Crap.

Mom is right now waiting for a procedure to start that is testing for a cancer recurrence.  She's already recurred once, locally, two months after chemo ended.  They changed protocols and are now seeing if this one worked.  Much much bigger deal than my silly iron failure.  I need to keep shit in perspective.

edit:  got an all clear!  No sign of cancer.

Trying to order something from a UK company that will not deliver outside the UK.  Is anyone willing to accept delivery, and then forward to either the Netherlands or US?  Nothing illegal - clothing actually.

Thanks